Invisible Structures
By 2024 apprentice Yalan
For every building to unfold, a detailed plan must be laid. A build for housing people, is not something we make up along the way. Just as strong buildings require a solid foundation to build upon, successful dynamics are also supported by invisible structures, or mutual understanding of needs, roles and beliefs. Invisible structures are the foundation to any successful team, community, or entity. Without invisible structures, these dynamics can fall into a downward spiral of misunderstandings, expectations and disappointment, as well as miscommunication and misplaced intentions. By being consistent in meetings, transparency, and inclusion, invisible structures have been attributed to the longevity of the Ranch.
Many a time, invisible structures can be assumed or implied. Our needs, roles, and beliefs can be some what difficult to share. Having consistent meetings can give us the space to discuss what we each find important. Life can get busy and the idea of committing to consistent communion whether its daily, weekly, or monthly can feel daunting, especially when its with more than one person.
Setting at least ten minutes aside to reorient and connect with those in your immediate environment not only helps organize the day ahead, but can shift your perspective and even values. For example, everyday at the ranch, the possibility of playing sports is discussed. Now, it’s not everyday that sports are played, however everyday is open for people to get in some cardio as well as participate in team building. If meetings are not established to discuss agenda, needs, etc. any dynamic can lose balance. I recall a community I was a part of where there was a lead who would ramble about what he wanted to see each person contribute individually. Instead of seating us together to express expectations collectively, he would pull us each aside to comment on what he saw our contribution being. This created confusion about our roles amongst each other and our purpose there. Expectations and needs on both sides weren’t expressed clearly, nor did they have the space to be expressed. For a community meeting to be successful, needs and values, are expressed and equally received from all parties.
For meetings to be successful, one needs a sense of safety and vulnerability
With these conditions comes transparency, allowing ourselves to be seen and communicating our “internal weather report” allows for others in the community to take initiative. Responding appropriately to a need or role that needs fulfilling. However when being transparent, a level of delegation and discernment must be present to successfully have that need met. Problems are not solved by acting as if they are not there, or by going on about business as usual. Problems are solved by engaging, by observing and interacting with the problem until a solution is met. Again, meetings exist to generate a platform for transparency to exist. We must cultivate space to allow for things to become apparent. For example, if a role is placed on you or there is an expectation you cannot meet, you can suck it up and do your duty, or you can be vulnerable and say, “This does not work with me, are there any other places my energy would be useful?” We want to help one another, we want to play a role in the relieving of each other’s pain. We cannot do this if light is not shed on their struggles. If we cannot share our faults and struggles, we take on more than we can handle and resentment can develop. Allowing ourselves to be transparent with our faults and struggles gives rise to generosity and altruistic action. Once being vulnerable is established as safe, we can then bring people into our lives to be in sync with our rhythm.
From here we move from transparency to inclusion
Not just being open with our lives but actively involving others in our daily experience. By including others into our lives, we learn to delegate the weight we carry. There’s an expression, “many hands make light work.” I recall an open mic I hosted back in Los Angeles. I was transparent in my struggle setting up for the evening, huffing and puffing as I set up lights. Though I felt under pressure, many hands were available to assist me. I was not taking time to assess what was needed of me, so I could not delegate. By not including others in my tasks for the evening, I was suffocating under my own pressure. Needless to say it was a successful evening, however I could have relieved myself of struggle by involving others. My mind could have had more space to enjoy the evening rather than being hyper focused in providing a pleasant experience. While there is a pride to be experienced on the other side of accomplishing a task all on your own, there is a potential in connecting with others that is void when doing so. Expressing oneself as, “I could use ______ right now” or “I am in need of _______ at the moment” or “If you have a moment could you ______?” Are all examples of letting people into our lives. For the sake of connection and relieving our own pressure, let us open up to those in our immediate environment, and include them in our daily experience.
All in all living in community isn’t for everyone, it takes open hearts and open minds to communicate as fluidly as what is needed to live amongst peers. There are infinite ways to live in community and meetings, transparency, and inclusion are just a few examples of what’s needed to build solid invisible structures.
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